Achieving Female Orgasm

Sexual Distractions

For all you ladies out there who just can’t quite make it, you are not alone. Various statistics show that only 43% of women will actually have an orgasm during sexual activity. Not only are you not alone in your sexual frustrations, but you are also pretty normal. Many specialists will attribute this “problem” to anxiety, saying that the root lies in an inability to relax during sexual activity. Other contributing factors such as various medications, a history of sexual abuse, or a physiological abnormality can prevent women from experiencing orgasm, but very often, it is just a matter of learning how to relax your mind and body.

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Whether we like it or not, there is pressure to achieve orgasm during sex because society will have us believe that the principal goal in having sex is to climax, that the only benchmark concerning sexual pleasure is whether or not you ‘come’. However, take note that, surprisingly enough, one website ironically suggests “if you want to experience intense and prolonged sexual pleasure, try not having an orgasm”.

Nonetheless, putting all opinions aside, if you are consistently unable to achieve an orgasm, your sex life can get a little frustrating. Take a look at this practical list of sexual relaxation techniques:

Try a sensual massage. Use this opportunity to discover which non-sexual body areas are most sensitive to touch. Getting a feel for your partner’s body and focusing on the responses without the pressure of ‘having sex’ can be quite a learning experience.

Take a bath; listen to music; light a candle. This is going back to relaxation 101. Studies have shown over and over again that calming music can do wonders for a stress-addled brain. Baths are not only an excellent body relaxation technique, but also a means to appeasing the soul. Set ‘the mood’ with scented candles that will put you in a romantic frame of mind.

Spice it up. Try watching an erotic video or reading a sex magazine, either with your partner or alone. Consider using a vibrator; adding new toys or new variations to your regular routine may be just what you need to bring you to climax.

“Give yourself permission to relax and go with the flow,” says Dr. Phil. Many women spend their time during sexual activity worrying about their performance and/or ability to please their partner. This anxiety can delay orgasm, which leads to frustration, which then renders orgasm almost unreachable. Communication is the key; be honest about your concerns, and about what feels good.

Sexual relaxation techniques are not a guarantee for achieving climax because, unfortunately, there is no specific formula for orgasm. However, you may find that by taking the emphasis off the orgasm and focusing instead on the pleasure and sensations of the moment will make sex a lot more enjoyable.

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